Are Memory Boxes a Game Changer?
Memory boxes are something we've always had in our family (thanks mum!), but I've discovered loads of people don't have them and clients report the concept has been a game changer when organising.
Decluttering is all about keeping what you need, use and love but where people often get stuck is what happens when you’re confronted with the items that you no longer need , will never again use and love but not in a way whereby you want the item displayed. An example might be a card sent to you 10 years ago by a friend. The card probably can’t stay displayed on a shelf for over a decade, but your friend has written you the loveliest note inside which you really treasure. You could take a photo of it but that often creates a new problem of too many photos and unless you’re really good at organising your photos you know you’ll probably never find it again. This is where the memory box comes in – one place where all such items can live. One of the main methods of successful organising (and maintenance) is ensuring that everything has a place. If that can be achieved, then you will always know where to put things and also where to find them again. Without such a place items routinely get moved around the house from room to room and drawer to cupboard but never really have a place that feels right, this is clutter – an unmade decision. Essentially you are moving your clutter around instead of dealing with it by either making a decision to let go of it or giving it a definitive home.
Memory boxes are for individuals to curate in one place, all the items that spark positive and joyful memories or are important historically. It’s really important to keep in mind that this box is something that you’ll want to sit down and take some time going through now and again and you want to be confident that it will walk you down memory lane and leave you feeling happy.
It is important to have one for each family member. You cannot be the keeper of other people’s memories BUT if you have small children, it might be worth starting the process for them. When I moved out my mum presented me with my memory box (although I think I’d also started my own at that point) and I was able to go through it and there were items in there I loved seeing again and others that I couldn’t have told you were mine – no memory sparked, zero recollection. I was then able to remove those items and simply have the things that meant something to me. Whilst my children were small, I started collecting items for their boxes; the best pieces of their artwork, a few school books (I might do a whole other blog on this topic!), random photos, things they may have made, nice letters, sports medals/certificates etc. As a parent you can make these choices on behalf of your children – it is impossible to keep everything, and it creates a large problem further down the line if you try to – but keep the stuff you feel is important. Once my children were teenagers, we got their boxes out and they had the opportunity to edit what was in them. They enjoyed the process, laughing at old stories they’d written, being reminded of events and successes but they also identified a large number of items that they had no recollection of and that was absolutely ok. From these discarded items I was able to pick out things that were actually a memory or important for me and those then went into my box instead, the rest was discarded. The children now decide what goes in their boxes and in another year or so we’ll probably repeat the process.
Memory boxes should be decluttered in just the same way as all other areas of your home. I look at mine every 1-2 years and there is always at least one thing I let go of. Your thoughts and views change over the years about what is important. For decades I kept my own baby teeth in my memory box but a few years ago I really questioned why I would want them?! They got discarded – it’s easy to keep things because we always have so the decluttering process really makes you re-visit the why and assess whether keeping the item is in fact bringing you any positivity. The teeth were in there as my mum had put them in, sometimes people keep things because they think other people want them to keep them for some reason but most likely she didn’t know what to do with them herself and so passed them along, she has no feelings either way about what I do with them and since they 100% belong to me, I get to decide! It is important to declutter the box every so often as no doubt you will be adding to it throughout the years and similarly with your home, it’s important not to let the quantity of items get out of control.
Ensure you use a good-sized box; I always suggest around 64 litres. A pretty little shoebox might seem attractive but it’s not going to house enough to make you feel satisfied that you have ‘enough’ to look through. 64 litre may feel big but trust me when I say it gives you enough space for a good quantity of items plus it's good to have a limit and this sort of size seems realistic! You need to imagine that when you next want to sit down to look through it all that it is a manageable quantity. Realistically you’re unlikely to be setting aside a day to pick through and enjoy what you’ve kept so having a limit on how much there is, dictated by the size of the box, is a great way of creating a curated box which you can actually enjoy during the course of a few hours at most. If it doesn’t fit / the lid won’t go on – you need to re-consider some of your items – do you REALLY need them all. Items can be anything that bring up joyful memories but when editing really listen to the emotions the items bring up. Do you really want to have that feeling/memory, or might it be time to let it go?
Organise the inside however you know you need it to feel. It might surprise you to know that mine is not organised inside. Everything just goes in, but I love just pulling items out randomly and having items spark a visit down memory lane. I don't need to look through my past in chronological order but that's just what works for me. Some clients like to use other boxes/pouches/elastic bands etc to separate out wedding cards for example or artwork but remember everything needs to fit in the main box so if it doesn’t once you#ve seperated it all out then you might need to consider what’s most important – having everything separate and organised OR having it less organised but more of it! If you do want to separate things out try to use more flexible storage like packing cubes, fabric pouches, plastic wallets etc rather than stiff cardboard boxes – chances are unless the box is exactly the right size for whatever it contains there will be wasted space and for most people maximising what can be fitted into the memory box is key. It’s difficult enough to edit the items that are memorable without adding in a complication of wasted space.
One last thing is that I would encourage people to pass on the memory boxes as soon as family members have their own place. It is important that my children have their memory boxes as soon as they have their own place. Not only because no doubt they’ll want to add to them without having to make a second one (and then giving themselves a future problem!) but also because it’s important that we teach our children to take responsibility for their own possessions. One of the common issues my clients have once children leave home is that they are then storing loads of their stuff often without a plan or end date. I will be writing another blog on this as it’s such a common problem so watch this space!